So, despite the fact that a South African national pastime is to bitch and moan about the cold in winter, our winters are extremely mild. We average 10 degrees in the middle of our coldest season - that's nothing! Most Europeans consider that to be quite balmy, and can be seen decked out in speedos and flip-flops, standing outside next to a barbeque; cremating their meat in the rain. (Unfortunately, very pale limbs sprout from said speedos, which is not at all a sexy look, unless you live in an Albino nudist colony, so they really should stick to longs. Also, leave the braaing to us!).
So then, when an African goes to the Arctic, the following phrases jump to mind: "fish out of water" and "fark, they're going to freeze their bollocks off".
Which is why buying the right gear to protect said bollocks is so important! Apparently jeans, takkies and a windbreaker just won't cut it. But what will?
That was the question on my mind when I ventured off to Snow and Rock in Covent Garden to do our Arctic shopping.
And the vague mission in my head as I walked through the door was: buy warm snow-suit-type stuff.
But did you know that warm-snow-suit-type stuff (I'm going to trademark that name, so that when Africans walk in the door of these type of stores and ask for it, they'll be led straight to my exclusive range of safari-suit styled snow gear, and I'll be rich!), is not as straightforward as it sounds? That you get basic shells, and then clothing with lining, stuff that's waterproof and stuff that isn't, clothing that will keep you warm in -10 degrees, but not in -40 degrees, outfits that will make you look like the Oros man because they're so poofy and then stuff that's very slim but is far warmer than the bulky stuff, etc.
It boggles the mind!
To be continued...
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