Sprinklers, dodgy characters and twinkly, pre-dawn lights...

Okay, so in our last post, we trashed Canadian service with regards to their largest cellphone provider company: Rogers. We, are however, also quick to give praise where praise is due, so in this post I'll focus on things that Canada gets right.

Yesterday, I was working from home, when I noticed the mailman walking with his satchel delivering regular-sized post into mailboxes. He was attacked by a tiny dog wearing a Batman cape, so all seemed well with the world. About half an hour later though, a van pulled up, and this was another mailman from Canada Post delivering parcels that are too big for the regular dude to carry. I saw him take out a few large boxes, walk to various doors, ring their bells, and then just leave the boxes outside their doors when no one answered. And then he drove away.

WTF?

I was astounded. How could he be so irresponsible? Those parcels looked like they contained important stuff and yet, there he was, leaving them outside in the open, for just anyone to help themselves to them.

I needed more information. So, I covered my face in black paint, put on my camo gear, leopard-crawled outside, did a few dodges behind bushes, whistled innocently, sidled up to a few packages and confirmed what I'd thought. They contained books, DVDs, goods ordered off websites, clothes and other cool loot. And yup, it was all just sitting there. Waiting to be stolen.

I wished I'd taken that irresponsible mailman's details, so I could give it to the various neighbors, who would be highly pissed off to come home, and discover their stuff had been affirmatively shopped by passers-by. I jumped into a hedge, thinking I'd be on the lookout for dodgy characters, but after 10 boring minutes, I realised I was the dodgiest character there, so I went back inside.

A few hours later, I walked the dogs and the parcels were still there. And then a few hours after that, people started arriving home and taking their parcels inside. Nobody appeared shocked to see their packages waiting on their porches. Nobody stuck their fist in the air, shaking it about and swearing anguished revenge on thieves or stupid postal workers.

And then, at 4am this morning, Muggle stuck her wet nose in my eye, which means, "I need to go widdle Mommy", and I felt too bad to elbow Poodle in the ribs and make him do it, which is what I normally do. He did, after all, start work yesterday. So, I put her lead on, and took her outside in the dark, in the pre-dawn, in the city, to walk her to a nearby park. And the excursion was without incident. Or would have been if she didn't squat on a sprinkler-head that popped up at exactly that moment to drench us both! (Any awake Canadians learnt a few new South African words at that point like: fok, bliksem, fokken bliksem, etc). But it was 28 degrees, and a balmy wind was blowing, and the city to the East was twinkly and hushed, so we didn't mind too much. We were content and happy to be out. It was actually quite a sacred moment - Toronto and I bonded.

And when we walked back to our apartment, I saw one of the packages still waiting outside someone's door, and I thought: That's pretty damn cool.

So I dashed up, cackled wildly, stole it, and Muggle and I made our get-away. Those bloody trusting, naive Canadians need to learn the hard way. Just not sure what we're going to do with a jumbo box of diapers?


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