Bright lights... big coolerboxes

Okay, so most people who do travel blogs, will tell you about their destinations, and about what they saw, how much it cost, how beautiful it was, where to eat, where to stay, how to get around, etc. Which I think it pretty damn dull, unless you're heading there yourself, and need that kind of information.

 

We recently travelled to the Niagara region in Ontario so, here's the disclaimer: if you're heading to Niagara and want to know all that stuff, this is not the blog post for you.

 

There are hundreds of really good travel blogs that will tell you interesting stuff about the falls, how much the Maid of the Mist cost, the cool jet ski boat you can take through the rapids, where the best wine estates are, etc, etc.

 

Our travel blog offers you something much more interesting.... and useful... which is this.... how to sneak booze into hotels in Canada and the US.

 

South Africans are particularly skilled in this. When we go to Sun City or "larney" hotels in Cape Town, we all know that the bar fridge is going to be off limits. You'll have to take out a second bond if, God forbid, you want that tiny little packet of nuts, or dinky bottle of wine tucked away in the little fridge in your hotel room. You'll generally stay strong and not even touch anything in it, unless you make the rookie mistake of allowing yourself to wake up hungover. And then you don't give a flying rat's ass that a small tin of coke will cost you the equivalent of your first car. You'll wrestle your tongue down from your dry palate and crawl to the fridge, thanking your lucky stars that help is at hand.

 

Keeping this in mind, most South Africans, when travelling locally or abroad, will either fill their suitcase with booze from home, or will find the bottle store nearest to their hotel. Then they'll come clinking and clanking through the reception area, avoiding the concierge's beady eyes,  desperate to hide the fact that they're cheap bastards who won't pay hotel prices.

 

Not so in Canada and the US. Guys, when you travel here, you don't have to wrap your booze in clothes in your suitcase. You don't have to leopard-crawl through the back door with your hidden stash.

 

Here is the secret...

 

You take a cooler box from home. You fill it to the max with wine, beers, shooters, spirits and ice. And then you...(wait for it)... carry it proudly inside the hotel with you. You put it on display. You look to see if your cooler box is bigger than everyone else's, and if not, you vow to do better next time. You make the bell hop drag it to the lifts and down the corridor and you yell, "Easy does it, young fella. That's all my liquor in this here cooler."

 

Ah yes. Canada and the US. Bright lights... big cooler boxes.