The glass is half full

Since we found out, two and a half months ago, that our visas were approved for Canada, I've tried really hard to focus on all the positive aspects: the travel, the excitement, a new adventure, an opportunity to realize our dreams, new life experiences, etc. This is something we've wanted and planned for 5 years, so of course there are many, many things to look forward to.

What I've also tried really hard to avoid is dwelling on the negative aspects of our move, which mostly boil down to leaving our wonderful friends and family, because I know we're going to miss them terribly.

While we're away, there's a lot that we'll miss out on. Like seeing our godchildren grow up and witnessing their daily triumphs. Will I know when Ella's favorite colour changes from "rainbow", and that she's now writing all her letters facing the right way? (Though I prefer her current style of writing the letter "n"). Will I know when Nommie stops stuffing her T Shirt with my socks, and when she gets her first bra?

There are pregnancies and births that we'll miss out on. New romances and engagements and weddings. Everyday events like supper club and quiz night. My father's 65th birthday and my brother's 40th. Impromptu lunches at Papachinos with the gang, and weekend braais with the family.

Especially difficult is worrying about everyone's welfare. Will our folks stay healthy while we're away? Will my 89 year old gogo stay strong into her 90s? What happens if there's a crisis and we're not there?

It's enough to make a control freak like me turn tail and give it all up just so that I can be around. Not that I have any control over everyone's welfare and happiness even when I'm in SA, but these things aren't logical.

So when these negative and worrying thoughts crowd in, I try to go back to focusing on the positives:

1. There are dozens of ways for us all to keep in touch: Facebook, email, BBM, WhatsApp, Skype, phone calls, sms, etc. I remember after high school when a friend of mine, Dimitri, moved to Greece. The only way to stay in touch then was writing and mailing letters! I especially remember when Bron and Shayne moved to Zim, and I couldn't get through on the phone for a few weeks. I got quite hysterical only to discover that elephants had knocked the lines down, and it took ages to get them up and running. Err, the lines, not the elephants. The telephone poles barely broke their stride.

2. Most of my friends and family are a bit scared of me, so they'll answer my constant stream of questions about favorite colours, morning sickness, first dates, quiz scores, etc.

3. People can come visit! We have a spare room and are prepared to travel to meet up! We're already booked to see the Broombergs in December, Don and Pierre in Vegas in March and my family in the Caribbean near the end of next year. All occasions that I'll be counting the sleeps until.

4. Some of my best friends have lived overseas for years, and the distance has actually strengthened our bond. (Love you Charmz and Craigie).

5. We are always just a plane ride away if we're needed back in SA for whatever reason. We will always, always be there for those we love... that will never change.

It's a balancing act - each day we walk a fine line between excitement and despair. All we can do is trust that it will all work out the way it's meant to, and hope that the universe will be kind.


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